The Guy Who Kept 'Accidentally' Using the Machine Next to Mine

Let me set the scene: 6 AM. Massive commercial gym. At least thirty treadmills in a row. I'm on treadmill 14 because it's my treadmill. You know how it is. You pick one and it becomes yours. Treadmill 14 is mine.

Every other treadmill is empty.

And then this guy walks in, surveys the entire empty row, and gets on treadmill 15.

The first time, I thought nothing of it. Maybe he likes the view from that angle. Maybe treadmill 15 is HIS treadmill. I get it.

The second time, I noticed.

The third time, I was suspicious.

By the fifth time, I was running my own internal investigation. I started cataloging the data:

Day 1 (Monday): 28 empty treadmills. Picks #15. ✓
Day 2 (Wednesday): 31 empty treadmills. Picks #15. ✓
Day 3 (Friday): 24 empty treadmills. Picks #15. ✓

This man was choosing to run next to me in a sea of empty machines. This is either the beginning of a love story or a true crime podcast.

I told my roommate about it and she was like "maybe he just likes that treadmill" and I was like "he showed up AFTER me every time. He sees me and THEN picks #15." She said I was being paranoid. I said I was being observant.

The Headphone Incident

Week three. I'm on treadmill 14, he's on treadmill 15, we're both running in parallel silence as usual. Then my left AirPod falls out and bounces — I swear to god — directly onto his treadmill belt.

It shot backwards like a tiny white bullet.

He caught it. Mid-run. With one hand. Like an athlete in a movie. Handed it back and said, "Nice reflexes on that AirPod."

AND I SAID: "Thanks, it's been practicing."

It's been practicing. IT'S BEEN PRACTICING. What does that even MEAN? I wanted to launch myself off treadmill 14 into the sun.

But he laughed. Like genuinely laughed. And then he said, "I'm Jake, by the way."

And I said my name without saying anything stupid and I considered that a massive win.

The Escalation

After the AirPod incident, we started saying hi. Then the hi turned into small talk between sets. Then the small talk turned into walking to the parking lot together. Then the parking lot walks turned into "want to grab coffee?"

The coffee turned into dinner. The dinner turned into "I've been using treadmill 15 on purpose for weeks because I thought you were cute and didn't know how to start a conversation."

HE ADMITTED IT. He literally confessed to strategic treadmill selection.

And honestly? Iconic behavior.

That was three years ago. We're married now. We still go to the same gym. I'm still on treadmill 14. He's still on treadmill 15. Except now we hold hands in the parking lot after and nobody has to pretend they "just happen" to like that particular machine.

For anyone wondering whether it's weird to approach someone at the gym — this article covers the etiquette really well. Jake clearly read nothing and just picked the treadmill next to me like a golden retriever, and honestly? It worked.

Sometimes the move is not having a move. 💛